The Courtesans - Genius
- by Rich Morris Release Date:2014-08-25 Label: Self-released
Imagine a female X Factor contestant (any one, it doesn’t matter which) trying to prove their ‘4 real’ credentials by going down a goth metal/industrial electro route, but still trying to be all sexy with it. Can you imagine that? Congratulations, you have just invented ‘Genius’ by The Courtesans. The bad news? It already exists.
The Courtesans, I guess, make music which could feature in some Twilight type movie. Unfortunately, they’ve rather missed cashing in on the whole ‘abstinent, weirdly serious teen girl is groomed by creepy old man into taking part in the kind of rubbish mind-fuck relationship that’s clearly a terrible idea but for some reason is seen as aspirational now - oh, and he’s a vampire, or something’. True, there’s the Fifty Shades of Grey film coming up, but that’s aimed at middle-aged mums and will probably be soundtracked by Dido and Anastasia over shots of hardcore S&M and shoes.
So, The Courtesans, that’s the direction you want to head in musically. Write a soft-rock ballad about how you’re happy to let an old billionaire whack your fanny with a hairbrush in return for a credit account at Harrods. Come to think of it, that would actually be much better than ‘Genius’, which is as creaky as Rupert Murdoch in a gimp suit.