Joe McElderry - The Climb - Singles - Reviews - Soundblab

Joe McElderry - The Climb

by Rich Morris Rating:1 Release Date:2009-12-14

Obviously not generally the kind of thing Soundblab would sully itself with, but it's important to take a stand sometimes. All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. Not in my name etc etc. But seriously, this is shit. Really shit. And not like a normal piece of stinky bowel cabling. This is like white dog shit from the 80s, the kind you'd mistake for snow as a toddler and pick up to show your mum, then uncomprehendingly watch as her face transmogrified into a look of abject horror. It's that special 'you shall never be clean again' kind of shit.

Have you seen this spod's childish-yet-smug vizog oozing out from the single cover? He's not even Leona Lewis. Take a moment to reflect on that. Fuck, he's not even Peter Kay. And yet here he is, dribbling out this hymn to his own victory which was written for someone else entirely, with all the conviction of a soggy, slowly disintegrating cornflake. Let's hope enough people shift themselves from their seasonal entropy to buy that lumpen, potty-mouthed funk-metal dirge from the 90s and keep this off the top of the charts. But you know what? In all probability, this soul-death pap will be number one. Christmas sucks.

Richard Morris

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