Beachheads - Beachheads

Does Ronco still make those Super Hits! compilation albums? If there’s one from the ‘90s, chock full of The Gin Blossoms, Goo Goo Dolls, Green Day, Cracker, et al, then Norway’s Beachheads must’ve had it on endless loop in the background when they wrote the songs that appear on their eponymous debut album. This isn’t tribute or homage to an era or genre. It’s blatant theft.

Beachheads features Vidar Landa and Marvin Nysgaard of the Norway metal band Velertak, which makes this collection of a dozen superficial, largely indistinguishable, yet polished pop-friendly alt rock nuggets so inexplicable. I can’t tell if this is them throwing in the towel on metal or simply a very curious career change. More on that later.

Yes, the songs are all well constructed, flawlessly played, earnestly sung, and professional sounding from top to bottom. Unfortunately they left out soul, or heart, or heart and soul. These are little more than cookie-cutter songs, rolling one into the other in a white noise wave of empty alternative rock claptrap. What Beachheads have done is simply parrot music that wasn’t even that special to begin with. It’s like you died and woke up in some even dorkier version of “Friends.” I won't be there for you, however.

I love a good song, bright and addictive pop melodies, and straightforward hook/riff-heavy music, but this is just musical banality. I wonder what these guys were thinking in leaving metal to pull this Asia-esque maneuver. Maybe that’s exactly what they were doing, and if so, well played. That still doesn’t mean that this is anything more than the musical equivalent of Wonder Bread. Pass the mayonnaise.