Beach Slang - A Loud Bash of Teenage Feelings

by Kevin Orton Rating:2 Release Date:2016-09-30

Call it suburban Punk. Combine Green Day’s posturing and Weezer’s Pop sense and you have Beach Slang. Plus a dozen other bands over the years. Add in a dash of clichéd Death Metal vocals on occasion, in order to stand apart.

They hit all the right moves but what’s missing is heart. It all sounds rather superficial. Lead singer, James Alex has a rather contrived Richard Butler rasp when not descending into “death metal” voice. But as a singer, he completely lacks heart or dynamics. Might as well be rubbing two pieces of sand paper together. If anything he succeeds at sounding both mannered and insincere. Far more concerned about how he sounds that what he’s saying. And what’s up with the bad English accent? When Robert Pollard does it, it has charm and irony. This is just posing. They’re from Philly not, Leeds.

As for the songs, they all pretty much sound the same. Chug-chug-chug power chords. Bringing it all down to a lone guitar or drum before revving up again. Titles range from, ‘Future Mix Tape for the Art Kids’ to ‘Punks in a Disco Bar’ and the songs are just as vapid and pretentious. ‘Wasted Daze of Youth’ is a love song for the ages, “I kiss your mouth to taste your spit”. My, how romantic. That has to be one of the worst lyrics I’ve heard in ages. Lines like “I still taste you in the ash of every cigarette you kill” strive to be poetically edgy but are just adolescent and trite. I can hardly can tell if in the next song when kicked in but soon discover I'm in the middle of ‘Young Hearts’ . A song which may harbor ambitions of being the sound of a Generation Zed but have all the lyrical depth of Rod Stewart's 'Young Turks'.  

Where bands like The Wytches and MONEY refreshingly manage to capture youthful angst in all its raging glory, with all their heart and soul, bands like Beach Slang just want to pose for the cameras. I’d much rather listen to the Clash and the rest of the seminal bands, like Beach Slang have been parroting for years. Give me a loud bash of teenage feelings any day. Not the glossy, photoshopped 8 x 10.  

What is Beach Slang for, “yawn”?

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